Sunday, December 11, 2011

Rant: Nurgle

Dear Sculptors,

Please stop having the belly rotted out of every large scale Nurgle model you make. You've beaten this particular undead horse long enough. Stop it.


I get it; this is not real. Clearly there are a number of biological observations one could make about this situation that would prevent it from becoming so. But there's a saying I've heard from many an author that applies equally well here: Ask your audience to believe the impossible, but not the improbable.


What does that have to do with rotten stomach syndrome?

The core.

The core muscle groups (abs, obliques, traps, glutes, etc.) are the point of origin for all motion in bipedal creatures. Without your abdominal muscles, you'd essentially be stuck where you were, incapable of walking, sitting upright, and certainly not fighting. Yes, it isn't real. You can't kill something and still have it moving around. I don't care if it hasn't got a pulse, nothing that relies on it's muscles to move around can do so without the Transversus Abdominis. Judging by the size of these guys, they're going to need the industrial-strength version of said muscle. 


And let's not forget that sometimes, when we play these games, normal people like to stop by and see what we're doing. How do you even begin to explain to someone that you are an emotionally stable human-being when you've got stuff like this covering the table? It's models like these that make other people take two steps toward the door before you've even gotten out a hello.



I think what really bothers me about all of this is the lack of originality. Clearly everyone who worked on these models are superior artists in their field. Some of them really went to town and sought to innovate. The model below is by far my favorite of all these due to the sheer number of extra touches you can see in the model. It makes me want to see what this guy/gal is capable of without the constraint of having to essentially produce something that already exists.


I think it's time to move on; to seek greener (literally) pastures. I challenge the next miniatures company that makes a mega-zombie model to do something we've never seen before. Make the whole thing mechanical and rusty, or a living swarm of pestilent insects, or go for the opposite and have a slightly sickly looking clean-freak who is infested with airborne contagions. 

Be crazy, be original, and be in love with what you do. 

...

Even if it's making slimy mega-zombies. 

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UPDATE: FURTHER OFFENDERS
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Avatars of War: Lord of Pestilence